The Death of Me
by theeShadyLady
Summary: Some short scenes I thought might be interesting to see from Peeta's POV. R/R, tell me what you think and any suggestions you have. ((Constructive Criticism is accepted and appreciated.))
1. The Reaping

**_A/N- Hey everyone, this is theeShadyLady. This is a fanfic from Peeta's POV at various times during _****The Hunger Games ****_book. I am planning to have ten chapters, maybe more if I think of more scenes._**

**_((_****_DISCLAIMER_****_: I do not own _****The Hunger Games****_by Suzanne Collins or _****Come and Get it****_sung by Selena Gomez.))_**

CHAPTER 1: "The Reaping"

**_"_****_This love will be the death of me_**

**_but I know I'll die happily." _**

**_ –_****Selena Gomez("Come and Get It"****_)_**

_Four. Four slips of paper with my name on them in the Reaping Bowl this year._I know the thought is at least on my father's mind, but it's not on mine. Because my mind is busy reciting the phrase _not Katniss, not Katniss, please not Katniss._ I plead it in my head all the way to the square and I find a place between some of the other sixteenyear old merchant boys. I try my best to think positively as my eyes automatically fix themselves on Katniss, even though I promised I wouldn't put myself through that torture.

I see that she's staring at someone behind me. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Hawthornebearing a sad smile, but he mouth's back something that I can't understand. _That should be me!_ I groan in my mind. But I know I shouldn't let myself think like , I just keep silently repeating, _not Katniss, not Katniss, please not Katniss, _because maybe this year I will build up the courage to talk to her... or at least smile at it works, it's not her. It's Primrose Everdeen who is reaped. Relief floods over me because it's not her. But then it hits me. I shouldn't be relieved._That's her sister! What if she—_

"I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute."

..._volunteers._

My mind starts spinning and I feel tears begin to form in my eyes. _What am I going to do?! I never even told I'll tell her before she gets on the train. Yeah. Maybe... BUT she's not the only girl in District 12._ My logical mind starts to take over. _But she's the only one you really want!_The in-love part of mind says kicking logic back in its place.

"Peeta!" someone nudges my side. "Peeta, that's you!"

"What?" I blink some of my tears away.I was so focused on trying to get control of my emotions that I apparently missed the second reaping.

"Peeta, you were just reaped," I feel myself being pushed I hear the guy that's pushing me say under his breath,"Go get your girl." And that's when I realize that my friends don't know how to keep anything I tell them to themselves.

When I reach the stairs I can hardly stand, let alone put one foot in front of the other. Somehowthough, out of shear will power and extreme effort, I make it up the steps and across the stage. Then I force a fake smile, that probably looks more like a grimace, and shake Katniss' hand. I wonder if she remembers that day in the rain. She probably doesn't, she looked so worn down. _I should have just walked over and handed her the bread... This time I'll give everything I can to make sure she's safe and that she's the one who comes home. No matter what the cost is._

I tell myself I should say something to her. Anything. But I can't, my throat feels like I swallowed a rock. So I just continue bearing my anti-smile and release her hand from my grip. Effie doesn't ask for a round of applause, which is strange because normally everyone is asked to clap after each tribute is reaped.

I look around at the District 12 silent audience and see Hawthorne. He is glaring at me and suddenly I realize that I finally have something he doesn't. A chance to be her everything.

**~theeShadyLady~**


	2. Goodbyes

**_A/N- This is Chapter 2. Yup. That's it._**

**_((DISCLAIMER: I do not own _****The Hunger Games_.))_**

CHAPTER 2: "Goodbyes"

My brothers burst through the door, without my parents, which I had expected. They hug me one at a time and then stand back staring at me.

"So, Katniss Everdeen, huh?"

"Yeah," I sigh.

"Are you even going to try?" Ryen asks.

I hear his words, but they don't register. I'm busy looking back and forth at the two of them, taking in the last few minutes I have with my brothers. Wheaton is closer in age to me than Ryen, but Ryen is more like me; quieter, shorter, and more perceptive. But Wheaton's nice to have around too. He always stands up for me; at school when I was little and even now with my mother when I'm at home.

"Peeta!?"

"Huh?"

"Are you even going to try?"

"Or are you just going to let Katniss Everdeen win?" Wheaton interjects.

I'm taken aback by this. But then my mind rationalizes and I turn on Ryen, "You told him!?"

"No, he didn't." Wheaton defends him, "It's not hard to see. You don't hide it well, Peeta. Everyone at school knows."

"So, are you going to tell her at least?" Ryen cuts back in.

"Maybe," I shrug.

"You're going to let her win, then?"

I twist my fingers angrily into my hair in the fashion of a mad man. "I don't know what I'm going to do!"

Just then the door bursts open and two peacekeepers, "Time's up."

"Good luck, Peeta." Wheaton says tapping my shoulder with his fist playfully as he walks by.

"You'll think of something, Peeta." Ryen says with an encouraging smile as they leave without actually saying goodbye.

* * *

I nod as my parents come to say goodbye to me. They both sit down on the long velvet couch, but on opposite ends. I sit down in a matching chair across from them, but can't think of anything to say. _What are you supposed to say when you're about to get on a train headed for certain death?_

"Well," my mother yawns as she crosses her legs, "at least District 12 may finally have a winner this year."

I'm shocked by this comment, "I don't think I'm going to win, maybe if I wasn't—"

"No. Don't be ridiculous, Peeta. I was talking about the Seam girl. If anyone from here can win, it's her. That one, she's a survivor."

"Her name is Katniss," I spit back. Not because of her comment, but because I know she knows her name.

"I'll worry about her name if she comes back," my mother rolls her eyes, irritated as always.

"You should go. Now." I stand up angrily and yank the door open. My mother leaves with a huff and both, my father and I are more relaxed as soon as she's gone. This was the first time I've stood up even a little to my mother and it feels good. Maybe I should have done this sooner, before I was headed to my doom.

"So what's in the bag?" I ask commenting on the overpowering smell of fresh baked goods.

"Oh, just some cookies I'm planning on dropping off on the way back home."

"Oh," I nod, but I don't have anything else to say.

"Things are going to be different this year," he says quietly after a moment.

"I'm not sure about that."

We sit in silence until the peacekeepers come in announcing my next visitor. I give them a questioning look as they usher my father out of the room. Neither of us say goodbye.

* * *

"Never thought I'd see you here."

"I never thought I'd have to be here."

"So, let's just get this over with then."

"Fine by me."

"Go ahead then."

"Don't you dare let her die. I don't care what you have to do, I don't care if you have to hurt her or even if you die in the process, Katniss is not going to die out there. If she dies, if you let her die, I will personally kill every damn person in your family. And after that if you come back, I'll kill you too."

"Don't worry, I'll get her back. But before I do, remember this, Hawthorne. I'm going to make sure that she'll _never_ be yours again."

**~theeShadyLady~**


	3. Chariot Ride

**_A/N- Ta da!_**

**_((_****_DISCLAIMER_****_: I do not own _****The Hunger Games****_.))_**

CHAPTER 3: "Chariot Ride"

"He wants us to hold hands," I translate Cinna's words for Katniss, but she still looks confused. I give myself a moment to try and calm myself, and then I quickly take her hand before I lose my nerve. She gives me a shocked look like there's something wrong. _Is my hand sweaty? Maybe I should just let go._ Cinna gives us a thumbs up, which eliminates that plan.

Our carriage starts moving and I smile overtakes my face. I know this is a strange thing, but I feel like this is honestly one of the best moments of my life. I know Hawthorne will be watching us; hating that it's me with her, not him; hating that we're holding hands. I've never seen him holding her hand. But then again, maybe they don't only hunt when they're in the woods. This thought upsets me and I can't look upset. So I focus on the sounds of the Capitol crowd.

As soon as they see us they are screaming, at first they seem to be in terror of our fire, but then the screams turn to cheers. Cheers for District 12, then they're chanting for me and Katniss. I smile and wave as they go insane hypnotized by our flames. "_Peeta Mellark: the boy on fire!"_ I utter to myself. _I like it._

I see Katniss out of the corner of my eye and she's blowing kisses at the crowd with the hand I'm not holding. There's no way she can be enjoying this. It's so strange because I never saw her as that type of girl; the kind of girl that can lie right in front of your face. But I guess there's more to her then I thought.

We near the end of the parade and Katniss suddenly looks down and starts to release my hand. Instinctively I clasp onto her hand before she completely let's go, "Don't let go." I'm panicking, but to cover my desperation I grit my teeth and tell her a lie about feeling like I'm going to fall. She smiles and regains her grasp on me.

I look back at the screaming crowd and continue waving, but all I can think about is Katniss and the way her hand feels in mine. She is clinging on tightly, like she really doesn't ever want to let go. And I don't want her to, so even though her tight grip is hurting me, I don't say anything.

**~theeShadyLady~**


	4. Confronting the Careers

**A/N-****_ Well, here it is, Chapter 4._**

**_((_****_DISCLAIMER_****_: I do not own _****The Hunger Games****_.))_**

CHAPTER 4: "Confronting the Careers"

I eye up the careers during my training sessions, deciding which one seems the most impressionable. For a second I'm sure that it's Cato, because he lets in a guy from District 3. But when I hear him explaining that he has a plan to use him, I decide against him. Eventually I narrow my choices down to Glimmer and Marvel, since they seem to just be in the career group because of their District number. _Might as well talk to both of them._

Glimmer is the first one to be on her own, so I take that as I sign. It's during lunch and she is waiting in line behind the guy from 12. I get in line behind her. I'm not sure how to start this conversation.

"Hey," Glimmer starts the discussion for me. "You're Peeta Mellark, right?"

"Yeah." I freeze up.

"I've seen you in training," she pauses as if debating on something, "you're almost good enough to be a career."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but I doubt Cato will let you in." She announces as if she knows what I was about to ask. And with that last remark she strides off to a food station without a line, apparently not willing to wait any longer. I am glad when she leaves, despite my plan, odds are I would have said something stupid had she stayed longer.

It's not until after interviews that I'm able to talk to Marvel. And it's because we luckily end up in the same elevator, before anyone else can get in with us I click the doors shut as soon as he steps in. As the elevator starts to rise, I press the emergency power-off button and the elevator comes to a sudden halt. Thankfully no alarm goes off, but Marvel does look stunned by my action.

"Why did you all team up with the guy from 3?"

"Cato wanted him," he answers without any hesitation.

"If you wanted someone to be in your alliance, would he let you?"

"Probably. Why?" He asks staring at me.

"I want to be in your group."

"You?"

"Glimmer said I was good enough to—"

"That's my sister," he interrupts.

"Well, then you should trust her judgment."

"Why do you even want to join us? You love Katniss, be allies with her."

"I _don't _love her. Well, I used to love her. But she chose someone else and broke my heart. And now I'm going to break his heart. By getting her killed." I lie, but like all good lies I base it on truth. "All I need is for you to get me in with the rest of the careers."

"Fine, I'll make sure Cato lets you in. Just turn the elevator back on!" His voice shakes a little as he says this.

I restart the elevator and hope with everything I have that my plan works.

When the doors open up on the twelfth floor, they reveal a _very_ angry looking Katniss. And even though she looks ready to kill me, all I can think about is how attractive she is when she's upset.

**~theeShadyLady~**


	5. Let the 74th Hunger Games Begin

**_A/N- 5 Chapters. 4 Movies. 3 Books. 2 Tributes. 1 Fic._**

**_((_****_DISCLAIMER_****_: I do not own _****The Hunger Games****_.))_**

CHAPTER 5: "Let the 74th Hunger Games Begin"

I give Portia a small wave goodbye as I enter the tube that will bring me to the arena. The platform raises and Portia disappears from my sight. I'm not sure what I expected the arena to look like, but when I see it I am relieved knowing that it could be worse.

From my platform, I can see the cornucopia, a lake, and a large section of woods. I know that Katniss always hunts in the woods of the Seam, so this will most likely be a survivable arena for her. However, I am out of luck. There are no ovens for baking bread or tables for decorating cakes. I laugh quietly at this thought, though this really isn't the time for it.

I look around as the countdown continues to descend and see Katniss. I can tell she is going to head for the Cornucopia. She catches my gaze. "Don't do it," I mouth silently. She stares blankly and I know she's going to ignore me. "Don't!" I mouth again, shaking my head. She doesn't respond. She just looks away and when she does, I whisper the words "Good Luck".

The gong sounds and I see her burst forward, I don't move. I watch as she grabs a backpack and I see Clove is about to throw a knife at her. I want to scream, I want to warn her but that would prove to the careers that I'm lying. Thankfully, the boy from 9 ends up in between the two and gets himself killed for it. As he crumples to the ground, I can't help but smile knowing my Katniss is safe because of him. Even if he didn't mean to help her.

"What are you doing? We have to go!" Its Marvel, he waves at me to follow him and then leads me around to the back of the Cornucopia. Then we sneak around to the mouth of it, making sure not to be seen by the rest of the careers. "Stay," he commands.

He leaves to help participate in the bloodbath. I maneuver myself, so that I can see outside, watching Katniss' every move. _Run!_ I scream internally, as she finally turns to get away. Clove throws another knife at her and I nearly collapse to the ground. _She's dead!_ But she's not. She adjusts her backpack just in time to stop the knife from embedding itself into her spine. Within seconds Katniss disappears into the woods and I feel myself relax slightly.

The bloodbath wraps up soon enough and the canon fires eleven times. As the last one sounds Marvel sneaks back into the Cornucopia. "Come on. You better talk to Cato, before he feels the need to kill someone else."

I walk out, holding my head high, trying to look as strong as possible. But as soon as I see Cato up close, I lose all my gumption. He is huge. Twice my size, at least! And he's got the look of a born killer in his eyes. And when he instructs me to explain myself, all I want to do is run away; to find Katniss; be anywhere but here.

But I don't.

I calmly open my mouth and let lie after lie fall out.

**~theeShadyLady~**


	6. Tracker Jacker Drop

**_A/N- This is not the most exciting chapter, but I thought it would be interesting to write._**

**_((_****_DISCLAIMER_****_: I do not own _****The Hunger Games****_.))_**

CHAPTER 6: "Tracker Jacker Drop"

I stay awake all night, feigning sleep until everyone except Marvel is asleep. He is supposed to be on night watch, but he looks tired. I look up towards the sky watching Katniss, trying to figure out a way to save her.

Marvel fall asleep within two hours and that's when I think about getting up. I roll around a little. No one moves. I tap the ground with my fists. Nothing. I cough once. Twice. Still no one wakes up. This gives me enough courage to quietly stand up and tiptoe over to the tree. Hoping that I'll be able to convince her to come down the tree.

"Katniss?" I whisper quietly. "Katniss?" A little louder this time. I can just barely see her in the darkness. She is sleeping. I swear and scream internally, _how can she be sleeping?!_

I walk back to where I was previously laying and drop back down, louder than I had planned to. I lay still all night, filled with anger and regret and every other horrible feeling that can possibly felt. _All I wanted to do was save her. But I might have just made things worse._

* * *

Morning comes and the Sun rises, despite me wishing for it to forget to. I see something stirring in the branches a few trees away. Then the branches in the next tree and the next, almost as if something where jumping from tree to tree. I focus on the gap between two unmoving trees and finally I see it. Well, her. Rue. She pauses two trees away from Katniss and I can see her studying the ground, making sure no one is awake.

Her eyes meet mine for a moment and I can tell she doesn't know what to do. I mouth the word "help" and flick my eyes to the left gesturing to Katniss. Rue follows my glance and then looks back at me nodding. Slowly I raise my hand and point at myself, then I shake my head and glance over at Katniss again. I don't want her to tell Katniss that I talked to her, otherwise she might not trust her.

Rue nods again and hops over to the next tree. As I watch her, I notice something higher up in Katniss' tree. A metallic hive. Tracker Jackers. Rue glances down at me again and I see her shrug her small shoulders, Katniss is not waking. I nod my head up, trying to get Rue to see the nest. She does and she gestures down with her hands. I nod. In the silence I can hear Rue making small noises trying again to wake Katniss up.

Eventually it must work because Katniss begins to stir. I hold in a sigh of relief as I watch Rue gesturing to her and see Katniss starting to ascend. I can tell it must hurt because she is claiming slowly and awkwardly. But after a few minutes she makes it to the nest.

When she starts cutting and is more focused on that then what is going on down here, I stand up and start to creep away wanting to put some distance between me and what's about to happen. I look up and notice Rue doing the same and I quietly hope that she sticks around for Katniss' sake.

Finally after what seems like an eternity of glancing back and forth from Katniss struggling with the hive to checking to make sure all the careers are asleep. I hear a snap and watch as the entire branch the nest was on crashes down on to the people I call allies.

Screams and cries fill my ears and I watch them slap and jump and wave weapons at the small enemies that refuse to give in. Eventually they figure out it that it's best just to run and they rush right past the tree I'm hiding behind without even noticing me.

When I look back up at the tree Katniss is not there, she's on the ground. I start to step forward, but think better of it as Katniss crawls to her feet. She staggers over to where Glimmer's now lifeless body is and starts prodding at her. I watch for a moment, unmoving, trying to understand what she is doing.

The bow! "Katniss!" I shout angrily, running towards her now. "Katniss! Run!" The bow is free and in her hands but she is just looking around like she is unsure of what's going on. That's when I see the welts on her hand and her neck. "Run!" I say grabbing her shoulders and pushing her, "You need to go! Run! Get out of here! Run! Go!"

She blinks a few times, but then starts moving. "Run!" I scream again. She obeys and her feet move a little faster. I feel like crying. I want to follow her. I should follow her. But I can't. I have to keep the careers away from her.

That's when I feel something grab my shoulder and shove me to the ground. I land on my back and the only thing I can see is Cato's face inches from my own. He is on top of me, crushing me with his weight. I feel his knife on my throat.

"What'd you do that for, Lover Boy?" My only response is the hardened glare that I now bear. "Answer me!" He orders shoving my face sideways, but freeing one of my arms. I reach into my pocket as fast as I can and yank out a knife slashing it out towards Cato. He leans back, clutching his stomach, but even as I shuffle away from I can see that it's not enough of an injury to slow him down. He realizes this in the same instant and lounges at me with his knife. It buries itself deep in my thigh and I let out a horrible cry. He yanks it out and laughs as he stands up watching the blood pour out of my leg.

"I think I'm just going to let you die like this, Lover Boy. Maybe you'll even be alive long enough to hear your girlfriend scream like you just did, she can't have gone far. I think I might take my time killing her though, you probably won't make it to hear the whole thing."

**~theeShadyLady~**


End file.
